I’ma be like every other blogger out there and put in my two cents about Miley’s performance.

Look, that girl is the devil. If you haven’t seen this

Buzzfeed: What Miley Cyrus Was Trying to Do At the VMAS vs What Miley Cyrus Actually Did then go read and laugh. It basically compares Miley’s  ‘Coming of Age’ performance to Britney’s like 10 years ago.

Too funny. Too real. Too true.

But here’s my thing. We bloggers can blog about that. We are pop culture, right. But why is CNN, FOX News, MSNBC and friends all on the air wasting precious air time and cost cable packages on psych panels trying to decipher Miley’s moral and mental state? I mean WHAT. Are you serious?

CNN said some ish this morning in this article: CNN’s Article aka Some ISH

These are responses from ‘outraged parents’ on the whole affair:

“I just find it extremely discouraging and difficult to hold out hope for the improved status of women in this world when even the most entitled among us so negatively reinforce the worst stereotypes and misogynistic attitudes about women,” said Belkin.
“Her behavior sets 50 to 60 years of women’s forward progress back a long way when you consider that her huge fan base really only consists of young and impressionable girls and horny young boys, who, unfortunately on many levels, are our future leaders,” said John Rodrigues of Boston, in response to a request for comment on CNN’s Facebook page.

*Pumps the breaks*
Okay, I’m sorry but you found it “difficult to hold out hope for the improved status of women in this WORLD” and you think her behavior “sets 50 to 60 years of women’s forward progress BACK”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? My face below:

I mean…Seriously?

While the romanticized antics of these parents is duly noted, I think that it is a TAD dramatic considering that Lady Gaga’s entire posterior was exposed and UNCUT on TV–she was in a glitter thong–and ain’t no body talking about that. Additionally, how about EVERY NIGHT  on TV the female anchors/reporters on FOX, CNN and friends look like porn stars with their boobs pressed to their faces and hair straight as a pin and makeup all dark and colorful. Talk about setting women back. Women in the television news industry can’t even go on TV and be taken seriously in a suit anymore. They have to be 110 pounds with a weave looking fresh off the college campus.

I’m just saying, people, Miley isn’t the reason why women are experiencing inequality. If anything, she just looked stupid running around between teddy bears in her underwear. NOT TO MENTION the fact that Paula Patton probably wanted to throw down when Miley rubbed her barely there backside all up on Robin Thicke like it was nothing. – Nasty.

But more than that read this Solidarity is for Miley Cyrus by Jezebel Jezebel article. Basically they liken her perofrmance to being blatantly racist in nature because of the way it objectifies black women. I’m not going to get into a race discussion here, but it is an interesting perspective and worth reading.

ANYWAY. Bototm line? Miley is not going to ruin my life as a female. And if she does, it’s about time because you would think that Beyonce, Gaga, Britney, Jessica Simpson, Xtina…AND FRIENDS already have. Miley just wanted some attention and some press. She definitely got it. (Go Girl) But let’s just simmer down on this Miley is ruining the world for females ish.





Ego Reflections: On Forgiveness

This is my open letter/note/reflection on what I have learned about forgiveness. If there is a God and there is a ‘plan’ then this last year and a half showed that it all does exist.

This past year and a half was a trying, aching, emotional time. I lost my grandmother, whose influence in my life is still unmatched to this day because she was my best friend and one of the greatest relationships I have ever had. Her death changed my life, we never got to say goodbye and I dread the day when I have to feel again the pain when my mother called me to tell me she passed away. Thereafter, I made some very poor life choices and hurt those people closest to me because I was selfish and immature. I continued to do reckless things under a guise of  thinking that I was in control of myself and of my life when really I was spiraling out of control. Then as things started to run away from me, I ran away from another important relationship–allowing my head to take over my heart–allowing my ego and my pride to stand in the way of protecting my own.

Soon after, the people in my life whom I thought were trustworthy turned their backs on me. Well, I thought they did. But I soon realized that they never had my back in the first place. That they were just as bad as anyone, just as bad as me at the time, and that what I was taking as good, insightful information that would better me was just a bunch of bs from people looking out for their own interests even if that meant destroying me and watching me destroy someone else.

At some point everything collided and I came to a realization in the midst of feeling terrible about myself and the relationships I had left, that in order to move forward and work toward a better me I had to start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive my family for not telling me my grandmother was sick and in the hospital until they called me to tell me she died. I had to forgive the people around me who treated me without empathy, with complete hypocrisy and who looked away from me when I needed them the most. I had to forgive myself for hurting someone who I loved in the very same way, without even knowing it. Last, I had to forgive myself for hurting me, for neglecting me when I needed me, and for allowing others to treat me like crap because I was doing the same thing to myself.

So where did I begin? How did I begin? Well, it’s an ongoing process. It doesn’t just change over night. The feelings don’t start to feel better or wear away immediately. I thought that the first step to feeling better about myself was abuot being positive and trying to forgive those around me who had wronged me, but it is deeper than that. I soon realized that I can’t begin to forgive others for anything until I face myself and admit how much I hurt myself first. Part of forgiving others is recognizing what others have done to hurt you and being able to look past it. But how could I do that until I knew exactly what I did to myself to cause some of the things that others did to me? How could I do that before I separated out what was my fault from what was the fault of others?

That took a while, by the way. Up until a few months ago I was doing it all wrong and it was making me feel terrible. I realized that I was doing it wrong when I noticed that I was trying to win back the people who had hurt me because I had so called “forgiven them” when really I needed to forgive myself first for even allowing people like that to domineer my life.

And once I started to forgive myself, I felt good. I felt like the weight was lifted away from my shoulders and I felt comfortable doing what I needed to do next and that was apologize to the person who I shut out, who knew me the best, who was just trying to make it through the day like me, who never would have treated me the way I treated her, who never would have intentionally treated me the way other people in my life intentionally treated me thereafter and who was going through some some stuff and just needed her person.

It’s funny how when you lose everything–your bestfriends, your identity, your pride and your sense-of-self–everything seems to settle and all of a sudden you actually have nothing to lose anymore. And then it becomes incredibly easy to just admit your wrongs and to turn back around and forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness.

Losing ‘everything’ in my limited, first world problems kind of way helped me to evolve from the proud, indignant person I used to be into someone who I like. Getting my head out of my ass and willingly putting my heart on my sleeve has been the best thing I could have ever done for myself. In forgiving myself I’ve learned to follow my heart. When the storm settled and I saw things the way they really were I knew exactly what had to be done.

So now I’m on the healing journey. I’ve done my forgiving but now I’m trying to heal and evolve the relationships that mean the most to me. Trying to revive relationships with people who had my back even though I turned my back away from them.  I’m learning to stick up for my heart, to speak up for myself and to cherish the loyalty of the people who want me in their lives.  Most importantly I’m learning that being good to people, being nice to people and not wishing ill on anyone no matter how wrong they are, how much they have hurt you, or how badly they treat you, is the best thing you can do for a person. Chances are they are in the same dark place I have been over the last year and a half, and chances are they need someone to empathize with them, to tell them to cut the crap–yes, but to not turn on them. They need a friend. They need a person.

And that’s forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process and it starts with the self.


Does the world end now that Reality Steve was wrong?

So I watch the Bachelorette/Bachelor religiously. I also follow every spoiler site, every stalking tabloid to find out who wins the final rose because I cannot stand to wait in agony for ten weeks over who the lucky man or woman is going to be. So I find out in the beginning and then I sit back and watch the drama unfold.

Reality Steve has been my go to source for countless seasons.
But last night, ladies and gentlemen, he was wrong.

Steve said that Brooks, Des’s yummy Mormon/Utah 6’4′ dream guy was going to win her heart EVEN THOUGH HE RAN AWAY AND TOLD HER HE DIDN’T LOVE HER AND BOUNCED. Steve convinced everyone that Brooks was going to come back like a night in shining armour and then he didn’t. Des chose Chris, who is definitely sexy and awesome, but that’s not the point. Chris was the obvious choice.

So now what happens? Well obviously the world is going to end, hell is going to rip open from the Earth’s core and life as we know it will cease to exist.

Bottom line? People make mistakes. It’s not that serious. In fact, it’s pretty amusing.



EGO RAMBLE: What in the world is “ETHNIC” Rhinoplasty

So I was surfing facebook when I came across some nonsense talking about plastic surgeons that SPECIALIZE in AFRICAN AMERICAN OR ETHNIC RHINOPLASTY. So basically, they are doctors who specialize in giving black people nose jobs. Dang, no other races need their own “kind” of surgeon then right? If you think I am lying go to www.africanamericanrhinoplasty.com. The surgeon is apparently an expert on the “ethnic anatomy.”

Ethnic Anatomy? What does that even mean? We are all “ethnic” no matter where you are coming from. He sounds ignorant as I don’t know what!


This is from the Doctors’ facebook page. What, so white or asian people don’t need a special surgeon because they’re all the same and black people aren’t.

SMDH. All I am saying is I don’t like this use of the word ethnic like it only applies to black people.  (I’m also pressed because there is a market for exploiting the fact that black people have wide noses and that our society is dominated by the notion that small, caucasian features = beautiful therefore black people feel compelled to spend their money on this asinine procedure.)

What do YOU THINK.


Ego Reflections: Why we shouldn’t obsess over Cory Monteith’s drug problem

Cory Monteith’s death is nothing short of devastating. For one, the show #Glee will forever be permanently changed and there is nothing that we can do about it. I’m not even sure what kind of future Glee has anymore, given the fact that Monteith’s character Finn was so integral to the foundation of the show–even in his absence these last few seasons. Glee fans who were looking forward to his return in future episodes are undoubtedly crushed, as is the Glee cast and crew, and no one more than his beloved girlfriend Lea Michele.

This morning I am watching Good Morning America (GMA) while eating my eggs and one of the headlines of the hour is CORY MONTEITH: WAS HE LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE? I roll my eyes and contemplat changing the channel, only the remote is on the other side of the kitchen island and that would be such a hassle. Nevertheless, something about this headlines bothers me (enough to write about it obviously). I just don’t understand why we need to obsess over the drug problem.

Yes, he was a drug addict. Yes, he died of an overdose. But does it matter? Is it our place to ridicule him, or dig into his personal life for skeletons?

I don’t think so. No, I think we ought to stay out of it and let all of the good things represent his legacy. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t acknowledge that he had a problem or even fabricate a cause of death. I just think that if I were Monteith’s family, friends and especially Lea Michele the worst part of this ordeal (besides losing him) would be having to defend his good and honorable qualities. I wouldn’t wish that on my own family, friends or boyfriend so I think that the media should take a couple of seats and let this one pass.

According to Eonline.com,

“The preliminary results come just a day after the BCSC confirmed that they were fast-tracking the autopsy and tox analysis due to the intense public interest surrounding the case.”

Really though? “Intense public interest?” This is what I am talking about, why can’t we leave it alone? Perhaps it is America’s obsession with seeing the ‘golden boy’ fall or something but in my opinion it’s really so pathetic. The coroner’s office overlooked  other autopsies, many which may be more time sensitive, for this case because the public is nosy? If I were the coroner I would have told the public to take a seat.

We know what the media was going to do as soon as reports about his drug history surfaced. We knew before he even died what would happen if the words dead, Cory Monteith and hotel were in the same sentence.  Look at Michael, Whitney, Anna Nicole–the list goes on and on. In some ways this is worse because Monteith never had a bad girl and guy image like the others. He had a drug problem, but he fessed up to it unlike Whitney who famously said that she “makes too much money to ever smoke crack” and also tried to dimish the extent of her own drug habit.

What I am trying to say is, let’s back off. Treat others like you would want to be treated. Obsessing over his drug habit isn’t going to make it any better. We all have skeletons in our closet. Would you want yours on blast like this? Plus the world just lost one of the cutest guys on television! Priorities people!

– P

— — —

I completely agree. In fact, I’ll take it one step further: stop calling Cory Monteith troubled.

Nearly every article I have read about Monteith’s death has referred to him as “troubled,” almost exclusively because of his stint in rehab back in April (that admittedly came to the surprise of everybody).

I don’t think it’s fair to his memory to slap that label on him because of one notable incident or situation. Yes, it’s now public knowledge that Monteith struggled with drug use for much of his life, but that was way in the past, and not in public. We should use that, or his rehab stint, as an opportunity to call him “troubled,” at least not without some more context into the situation.

Until more is known about the situation (and frankly, there isn’t much there that doesn’t bleed into privacy invasion), let’s just acknowledge his contributions, however short, to TV and mourn the loss of an incredibly young life.

– B

Ego Video: Chinese Gymnastics Ballet

Here’s the situation. #Huffpost uploaded this unreal video to their site yesterday (snaps for HuffPo) and then my life changed.

These Chinese gymnasts/ballet dancers/cirque-du-soleil performers/future olympic champions #seeyounevergabbydouglas/flexible goddesses literally KILL IT and are so beyond gymnasty that it can’t be real.

Prepare to be awed. Prepare to be changed. And someone tell me how they are able to do FLIPS without using their hands?! OH AND HOW THEY CAN JUMP THREE FEET INTO THE AIR INTO A SPLIT AND NOT BE IN PAIN.


EGO RAMBLE: My name isn’t ‘yo’

Get ready for this ramble because I am pressed.

I am a lady. I love flattery, I love being told I am pretty when I take time to make myself so. I believe that compliments go a long way in this world and that everyone should try to give one out every day.

But let me tell you what I do not like.

I do not like when I am honked at or yelled at prejoratively because I “look fine.” I do not like being called “ma” or “sis” or “baby” or “sweetie.” Most of all, I hate being referred to as “yo.”
My pent up frustration with the world is reaching its tipping point. Way too many front to bumper accidents almost happen every day because some idiot holds up traffic to honk and stare. Mind you–I am not trying to say I am all that or anything, I am just stating reality.

My usual response is to ignore these people, mind my own business and keep on to my destination. Sometimes this works, but other times the fool has the audacity to follow me for a few steps. I usually keep walking at that point too.

But I am so pressed right now that I fear for the next poor soul who crosses me the next time.

Because if I am crossed again this is what is going to happen.

Or this.

And maybe if I am really in the mood.

Listen ya’ll. I’m crazy. Don’t hit me on the wrong day. You’ve been warned.