EGO RAMBLE: Please give Kate Middleton a chair to sit in! She just had a BABY.

Okay, Okay, Okay Okay. *heavy breathing*
Yesterday when Kate Middelton AKA Pass That DUCHess AKA D of C presented her baby to the world like a mere 20 hours after she gave birth, I was beyond astounded. The woman pushed a bowling ball out of her lady parts after 11 hours of labor and then she stands up in WEDGES less than a day later so that nosy people can look at her baby?

Oh no no no. There are several issues with this.

  • Gravity.
    I don’t know if you’re familiar, but gravity exists. And when you’re standing vertically after pushing a bowling ball out of your lady parts that area does not take well to gravity. The discomfort and pain she must have been in I CANNOT imagine and I am completely blown away by her fortitude. Don’t you ever wonder why they ask women to REST for a few days in the hospital after birth? Yeah it’s because there is a defacto fresh wound that needs healing.
  • Her baby was like not even a day old
    My next issue has to do with the fact that Prince George was literally not even 24 hours yet before the Royal Family was showing him off like a new pony they got for Christmas. First of all, every one was screaming so gosh darn loud. That baby will probably have hearing problems. Second of all, the air is polluted. Why are they standing outside in the hot summer heat where strangers are breathing and screaming at their fresh newborn baby? Didn’t you see that baby’s face? He WAS NOT happy.

So yeah. Kate Middleton needs to take a seat. And not even in the oh-no-you-didnt- take a seat. She needs to rest. Childbirth is hard work. I know she has a duty to her country and all that jazz, but if it were up to me I would be sitting in my seat with my baby and my husband catching my bearings before I am obligated to walk outside and hold up the baby like he’s Simba and I’m Rafiki.

People need to give her a seat and then take their own.



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